Blog Archive

When you have a child with special needs, you grow accustomed to nosy questions. Whether it’s because of an obvious physical need or a not-so-obvious emotional need that manifests itself in challenging behaviors, kids with special needs often draw unwanted looks and questions from strangers, friends, and family members alike. As parents, it’s our responsibility to protect them and deflect the intrusions, to help other …

No one has ever regretted being respectful. Handling contention with birth parents is often emotionally driven and difficult. Handling contentious people on a daily basis can make anyone anxious. Adoption brings people together from different backgrounds, on a journey most have never traveled before. The number one rule, in my book of four adoptions, is to keep perspective. Have compassion, knowing this will not last …

Families don’t have to match, and yet, most do. Transracial families are created in many ways—not just by adoption—but when you become a transracial adoptive parent, these three things will likely happen to you, too. You will be noticed. My biological daughter looks a lot like me; she has fair skin, radiant blonde hair, and her daddy’s green eyes. My son is Hispanic; he was born …

I have had the fortunate experience to grow our family both biologically and through adoption. While being able to experience pregnancy and childbirth is indeed a miraculous experience, I have found that becoming a parent through adoption is its own kind of incredible miracle. Adoptive parenthood brings a different set of lessons. Here are seven that I’ve learned since becoming an adoptive parent.    Adoptive …

When your adoption is complete and you’re soaking in each moment, don’t forget these five things: Be an advocate for adoption. It’s all too misunderstood, so if you have the opportunity to talk positively about it, do so. This doesn’t mean you have to tell everybody every detail of your child’s adoption, but it also means it’s not taboo to discuss general information either. You …

Congratulations on your decision to adopt. Starting or adding to a family by way of adoption is a wonderful option to open your heart and your home to a child; you will be paid in excess of hugs, kisses, and unconditional love for the rest of your life—truly the best possible payment of any kind. But the ride to getting to the opening gate can …

“We like long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and volunteering in the community.” It’s awkward, isn’t it? It feels like the most important classified ad of your life: “Smart, funny, successful, and loving couple seeking baby, will love and spoil him/her, but not too much!” How can you sell yourself without well, selling yourself? How can you convey that you are infinitely ready to …

Waiting for an adoption can be one of the hardest things you have ever done. Once the paperwork, the interviews, and the meetings are done, and you are just waiting for the phone call or email, time can pass ever so slowly. You are a parent in your heart but not according to the state. You love someone more than life itself, but you haven’t …

Adoption is a strange mixture of joy and heartbreak. Adoption by its very nature is created from a hard place. In a perfect world, adoption would never be necessary because families would never fall apart. Babies would always be received with joy and their families able to provide for them. Children would never be orphaned. Every family would be able to have babies naturally, and …

My son by adoption has given me a lot to think about during his short little life. The process of learning these lessons has been mostly painful and difficult, but worthwhile. Here’s his advice to me. Of course, it’s a summary of what we have experienced. And not the ramblings of an intelligent seven-year-old. I want and need to be loved. Even if I ask …