Stories Archive

How to Answer Nosy Questions about Your Special Needs Child

When you have a child with special needs, you grow accustomed to nosy questions. Whether it’s because of an obvious physical need or a not-so-obvious emotional need that manifests itself in challenging behaviors, kids with special needs often draw unwanted looks and questions from strangers, friends, and family members alike. As parents, it’s our responsibility to protect them and deflect the intrusions, to help other …

How to Handle Contention with Birth Parents

No one has ever regretted being respectful. Handling contention with birth parents is often emotionally driven and difficult. Handling contentious people on a daily basis can make anyone anxious. Adoption brings people together from different backgrounds, on a journey most have never traveled before. The number one rule, in my book of four adoptions, is to keep perspective. Have compassion, knowing this will not last …

Transracial Adoptive Parents? Prepare for These 3 Things

Families don’t have to match, and yet, most do. Transracial families are created in many ways—not just by adoption—but when you become a transracial adoptive parent, these three things will likely happen to you, too. You will be noticed. My biological daughter looks a lot like me; she has fair skin, radiant blonde hair, and her daddy’s green eyes. My son is Hispanic; he was born …

A Few Things to Leave Out of Your Adoption Profile

“We like long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and volunteering in the community.” It’s awkward, isn’t it? It feels like the most important classified ad of your life: “Smart, funny, successful, and loving couple seeking baby, will love and spoil him/her, but not too much!” How can you sell yourself without well, selling yourself? How can you convey that you are infinitely ready to …

How Adoption Is Heartbreak

Adoption is a strange mixture of joy and heartbreak. Adoption by its very nature is created from a hard place. In a perfect world, adoption would never be necessary because families would never fall apart. Babies would always be received with joy and their families able to provide for them. Children would never be orphaned. Every family would be able to have babies naturally, and …